*Faded Stars*

Some of us are stars..some are lookers. The lookers only see the stars when they’re shining..but when a cloudy night comes along, the lookers no longer show their admiration, but only their ignorance. Why look at something when it’s not standing out? But it takes those cloudy nights for us to really appreciate the stars for lighting our nights when they do. We should  remember not only the shining stars…but the faded ones too.

Chased Satisfaction

Satisfaction always evades us. We go to school..but there is always that feeling that the world is hiding something we don’t know. We get a career, but we have to be on top of the mountain. We get married, but our companion always seems to have something missing that we always wanted. We have kids but they never seem to fulfill something you always wanted to. There is always that void in us, that never seems to be filled no matter where we go, what we do, or whom we talk to. What is it we want from the world? From life? What is that fulfillment and how far do we go to achieve it? Whatever it is, the more we chase it, the faster and farther it runs. Like sand, the harder we try to hold it in our hands, the faster it slips through our fingers. Is there really something out there in the world that is meant to be found by us? Or is it something in ourselves that always wants something to look for?

Lost

Remember that time that you were lost in a very big and crowded place, separated from your family, and feeling that everything and everyone else is so much bigger and stronger than you? Remember that feeling of suffocation and that pang of fear?

It’s one thing being lost and knowing exactly what you need to find and where you need to be. It’s another thing being lost in yourself. Not knowing what you need to find, or even if you want to find it. Not knowing where your destination is. It’s having four different directions all around you, and not knowing which one to take, because you don’t know where you need to go. You’re trying to slow down because you know you have to…but speeding up because you want it to be over. The suffocation… the fear… the uncertainty. It’s a poison that seeps through your brain, heart, and soul. Imagine…your entire being, and purpose of life being questioned. No guidance..no direction. Being swallowed up by nothingness..neither here nor there. At the same time..anger is taking over because there is so much more in the world..and time is being wasted being ‘lost’.

Everything you ever lived for becomes nothing but a speck of dust left on a road so long ago. Sometimes…in the process of trying to find ourselves and make ourselves better..we lose ourselves even more.

Circle

We always run in a circle. At times that circle can be very big, so we don’t even realize what direction we’re running in. Sometimes it’s so small, you run faster and faster to find the hole to get out. Either we run so fast, that we miss the hole every time we pass it, or when we run so fast, we fall…but that fall might be what we need to remember to slow down…look closer..and discover that little break in the circle.

Sometimes...

Sometimes it’s like all you see is clouds above you, with the sun so far in, you forget it exists. Sometimes even after the sun shines through, your eyes are so used to the darkness, that you’re blind to the rays reaching to you. For weeks, months, and years, a blindfold has found a home over your eyes. It’s tied so tight that it seems impossible for your eyes to ever be free to look again. Sometimes…we get so comfortable with our darkness…we don’t want to look again.

Pictures

Think of my life as a picture. Lines and shapes visible but faded colors and no care for detail. Focus on one area, the rest blurs. I remember not to forget any other parts, to look at it as a whole. It’s not the new kind. but traveled back to the past to be one of those needed to put down for some time to show its best quality. Just been snapped, and still developing, In that time, patience is needed, to make sure it’s good enough for the world to see and understand.