knock knock

Been sitting out here for a while
I tried the windows
Tried the roof
Even the basement
But nobody’s home
You never leave Your house
So this bit of news is shocking
Because I really need Your company
But I don’t hear Your footsteps coming to greet me
I look through the windows
And all I see are the remains of memories
I go back home
Haven’t visited You in a while
Thought I might get a call
But You proved me wrong
Thought I must have done something really bad
To not hear from You
But then I remembered
You had told me to just try the front door
I run over
Knock the door
And there You are
I truly hope You’ll let me in

and now i see...

Walked so many roads
Stumbling aimlessly over hills
Not knowing my aim
Searching for love and care that the heart aches for.

Turned away from the shining light that is Your grace.
Feeling abandoned
Searching up into a vast emptiness
Not being able to find You among the stars

But now as I turn to You…I realize:
that I need You
that i am only human
that i can’t survive on my own
You not only keep my heart beating
But also my soul alive
Without You
I am nothing

And now as I open my eyes...i see:
Your guiding light
Waiting for me to succumb
Into Your loving arms.
For now, all I see is You.

too real

-- all credit to shabbir lakha --

I’m feelin jus so damn hollow
So ima jus sit back and wallow
Deep in this pool of sorrow
And think bitterly of tomorrow
Promised with sadness
Sworn to a path of madness
The mere sight of gladness
So hard to find, so far away
Might as well be a needle in hay
And i’m waiting for the day
That you’ll turn around and say
Say that you no longer care
You’ve had more than your share
Of my pain, its too much to bear
And scamper off like a hare
And all alone sitting in this chair
Into the gloomy sky i stare
Whisper the silent prayer
To live through the suffering i swear
Summon the strength to dare
Let out a smile thats seen so rare
Shining through those misty glares
Leaving the silent tears behind a smiling mask
The deception is such a difficult task
Its an attempt to put away the past
Moving on, driving by, super fast
Despite the grim future set in an iron cast
I’ll fight through and make sure i last
Only coz giving up aint an option
Or i would be deep under an ocean
By now overdosed on some potion
And thats the sad life that i live
And don’t even try to act like you give
Two pieces of shit
Or a squirt of piss
You don’t care a bit
So go suck some dick
You fucking homo prick
Don’t you ever judge me
Coz in my shoes you’ll never be
And through my eyes you’ll never see
The pain in my heart you’ll never feel
Inside knowing it will never heal
And its all jus too damn real.