fire and ice are your eyes
a fatal weapon is your smile
every other tasting only the honey flavored truth in your words
not knowing
all that's left are poison-laden lies
seeping into your veins
a heart that was once filled
now emptied with only a shield
on defense against your worst enemy
yourself.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
the compromise
When it feels like all our dreams are coming true
Why trap ourselves in old nightmares?
Our pasts pick up the occupation of haunting us
shoving our faces straight into the eyes of fear.
what are we afraid of anyway?
the unknown?
the capability we hold?
not finding happiness?
We go through life in search of this happiness
But when near it, run away.
Why?
Because we’d rather have something to look for in life
Than have it and live in constant fear of it being snatched away.
What if that happiness isn’t ours in the first place?
What if what we’re looking in the wrong places?
And then when we realize it, end up hurting the people we used?
So, to avoid that, we live with that compromise - not hurting people, at the cost of giving up the road to a destination; a destination that the inner self craves for, but can never reach.
Why trap ourselves in old nightmares?
Our pasts pick up the occupation of haunting us
shoving our faces straight into the eyes of fear.
what are we afraid of anyway?
the unknown?
the capability we hold?
not finding happiness?
We go through life in search of this happiness
But when near it, run away.
Why?
Because we’d rather have something to look for in life
Than have it and live in constant fear of it being snatched away.
What if that happiness isn’t ours in the first place?
What if what we’re looking in the wrong places?
And then when we realize it, end up hurting the people we used?
So, to avoid that, we live with that compromise - not hurting people, at the cost of giving up the road to a destination; a destination that the inner self craves for, but can never reach.
never ending battle
Two worlds colliding.
One, a vision of ignorant perfection, everlasting happiness.
The other, enlightened reality – obstacles. suffering. growth.
Left the second to live the first.
Worth all the loss? Maybe.
A lot more people on the preferred side of ignorance.
But then how can loneliness still exist?
Had more company before, when alone
Than now, in a crowd
Where there’s a person on each side
But no one to turn to
Not even oneself.
One personality lost
But not forgotten
Maybe even missed.
Another emerging
A product of everything around
A uniformed robot.
This war, raging all too often.
They thought it was over – maybe I did too.
But a war is never over
If no one ever wins.
One, a vision of ignorant perfection, everlasting happiness.
The other, enlightened reality – obstacles. suffering. growth.
Left the second to live the first.
Worth all the loss? Maybe.
A lot more people on the preferred side of ignorance.
But then how can loneliness still exist?
Had more company before, when alone
Than now, in a crowd
Where there’s a person on each side
But no one to turn to
Not even oneself.
One personality lost
But not forgotten
Maybe even missed.
Another emerging
A product of everything around
A uniformed robot.
This war, raging all too often.
They thought it was over – maybe I did too.
But a war is never over
If no one ever wins.
Monday, January 11, 2010
crash
You’re always riding in a car with someone.
Sometimes there’s a person you ride with everyday
And sometimes there’s people you’re only with once
Until you realize they’re bad drivers, or don’t know where they’re going.
You think you know how it works until…
You get in the car with someone
Get to know them
They take you everywhere you wanna go
Show you around to the places they love to be
You talk. Laugh. Understand. Connect.
At first, like always, you have your seatbelt on tight
But then you think about what a good driver the person is…they’d never let anything happen.
So you loosen it a bit.
And then eventually take it off altogether.
Crash.
Air bag in your face
Can’t see. Cant breathe.
You feel your ankle twisted.
You reach out for them.
They’re outta the car already.
You decide to never go into the car with them again
Time passes as you ride with other people.
Then the person shows up again.
You realize it wasn’t their fault. It was winter. There was ice everywhere. It could happen to anyone
You get in the car again
The cycle begins.
You crash.
Air bag.
Arm’s broken this time.
Reach out. They’re gone.
You decide that no matter what, you’re not getting in again.
Imagine what could have happened if let it happen once more.
You go home.
Months later, still healing from the injuries, you see them again.
They’re waiting outside, the car door held open
You walk slowly, watching your step.
Remind yourself what could happen. What has happened before.
What would break this time?
But no…the music was just on too loud last time. We’ll make sure we don’t do that again.
You go in.
And yet again
You see that reassuring smile
That warm hand
That knowing look in their eyes.
And the seatbelt’s removed.
Before u know it
You feel the impact
No airbag this time.
You’ve gone straight through the windshield.
Love is an accident waiting to happen. You better wear that seatbelt tight.
Sometimes there’s a person you ride with everyday
And sometimes there’s people you’re only with once
Until you realize they’re bad drivers, or don’t know where they’re going.
You think you know how it works until…
You get in the car with someone
Get to know them
They take you everywhere you wanna go
Show you around to the places they love to be
You talk. Laugh. Understand. Connect.
At first, like always, you have your seatbelt on tight
But then you think about what a good driver the person is…they’d never let anything happen.
So you loosen it a bit.
And then eventually take it off altogether.
Crash.
Air bag in your face
Can’t see. Cant breathe.
You feel your ankle twisted.
You reach out for them.
They’re outta the car already.
You decide to never go into the car with them again
Time passes as you ride with other people.
Then the person shows up again.
You realize it wasn’t their fault. It was winter. There was ice everywhere. It could happen to anyone
You get in the car again
The cycle begins.
You crash.
Air bag.
Arm’s broken this time.
Reach out. They’re gone.
You decide that no matter what, you’re not getting in again.
Imagine what could have happened if let it happen once more.
You go home.
Months later, still healing from the injuries, you see them again.
They’re waiting outside, the car door held open
You walk slowly, watching your step.
Remind yourself what could happen. What has happened before.
What would break this time?
But no…the music was just on too loud last time. We’ll make sure we don’t do that again.
You go in.
And yet again
You see that reassuring smile
That warm hand
That knowing look in their eyes.
And the seatbelt’s removed.
Before u know it
You feel the impact
No airbag this time.
You’ve gone straight through the windshield.
Love is an accident waiting to happen. You better wear that seatbelt tight.
Friday, December 18, 2009
knock knock
Been sitting out here for a while
I tried the windows
Tried the roof
Even the basement
But nobody’s home
You never leave Your house
So this bit of news is shocking
Because I really need Your company
But I don’t hear Your footsteps coming to greet me
I look through the windows
And all I see are the remains of memories
I go back home
Haven’t visited You in a while
Thought I might get a call
But You proved me wrong
Thought I must have done something really bad
To not hear from You
But then I remembered
You had told me to just try the front door
I run over
Knock the door
And there You are
I truly hope You’ll let me in
I tried the windows
Tried the roof
Even the basement
But nobody’s home
You never leave Your house
So this bit of news is shocking
Because I really need Your company
But I don’t hear Your footsteps coming to greet me
I look through the windows
And all I see are the remains of memories
I go back home
Haven’t visited You in a while
Thought I might get a call
But You proved me wrong
Thought I must have done something really bad
To not hear from You
But then I remembered
You had told me to just try the front door
I run over
Knock the door
And there You are
I truly hope You’ll let me in
and now i see...
Walked so many roads
Stumbling aimlessly over hills
Not knowing my aim
Searching for love and care that the heart aches for.
Turned away from the shining light that is Your grace.
Feeling abandoned
Searching up into a vast emptiness
Not being able to find You among the stars
But now as I turn to You…I realize:
that I need You
that i am only human
that i can’t survive on my own
You not only keep my heart beating
But also my soul alive
Without You
I am nothing
And now as I open my eyes...i see:
Your guiding light
Waiting for me to succumb
Into Your loving arms.
For now, all I see is You.
Stumbling aimlessly over hills
Not knowing my aim
Searching for love and care that the heart aches for.
Turned away from the shining light that is Your grace.
Feeling abandoned
Searching up into a vast emptiness
Not being able to find You among the stars
But now as I turn to You…I realize:
that I need You
that i am only human
that i can’t survive on my own
You not only keep my heart beating
But also my soul alive
Without You
I am nothing
And now as I open my eyes...i see:
Your guiding light
Waiting for me to succumb
Into Your loving arms.
For now, all I see is You.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
too real
-- all credit to shabbir lakha --
I’m feelin jus so damn hollow
So ima jus sit back and wallow
Deep in this pool of sorrow
And think bitterly of tomorrow
Promised with sadness
Sworn to a path of madness
The mere sight of gladness
So hard to find, so far away
Might as well be a needle in hay
And i’m waiting for the day
That you’ll turn around and say
Say that you no longer care
You’ve had more than your share
Of my pain, its too much to bear
And scamper off like a hare
And all alone sitting in this chair
Into the gloomy sky i stare
Whisper the silent prayer
To live through the suffering i swear
Summon the strength to dare
Let out a smile thats seen so rare
Shining through those misty glares
Leaving the silent tears behind a smiling mask
The deception is such a difficult task
Its an attempt to put away the past
Moving on, driving by, super fast
Despite the grim future set in an iron cast
I’ll fight through and make sure i last
Only coz giving up aint an option
Or i would be deep under an ocean
By now overdosed on some potion
And thats the sad life that i live
And don’t even try to act like you give
Two pieces of shit
Or a squirt of piss
You don’t care a bit
So go suck some dick
You fucking homo prick
Don’t you ever judge me
Coz in my shoes you’ll never be
And through my eyes you’ll never see
The pain in my heart you’ll never feel
Inside knowing it will never heal
And its all jus too damn real.
I’m feelin jus so damn hollow
So ima jus sit back and wallow
Deep in this pool of sorrow
And think bitterly of tomorrow
Promised with sadness
Sworn to a path of madness
The mere sight of gladness
So hard to find, so far away
Might as well be a needle in hay
And i’m waiting for the day
That you’ll turn around and say
Say that you no longer care
You’ve had more than your share
Of my pain, its too much to bear
And scamper off like a hare
And all alone sitting in this chair
Into the gloomy sky i stare
Whisper the silent prayer
To live through the suffering i swear
Summon the strength to dare
Let out a smile thats seen so rare
Shining through those misty glares
Leaving the silent tears behind a smiling mask
The deception is such a difficult task
Its an attempt to put away the past
Moving on, driving by, super fast
Despite the grim future set in an iron cast
I’ll fight through and make sure i last
Only coz giving up aint an option
Or i would be deep under an ocean
By now overdosed on some potion
And thats the sad life that i live
And don’t even try to act like you give
Two pieces of shit
Or a squirt of piss
You don’t care a bit
So go suck some dick
You fucking homo prick
Don’t you ever judge me
Coz in my shoes you’ll never be
And through my eyes you’ll never see
The pain in my heart you’ll never feel
Inside knowing it will never heal
And its all jus too damn real.
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