a chance...

At times, especially after going through something particularly tough, we find ourselves trying to bring a sense of purpose into our lives and renew our very beings. A perfect time that we can use as an excuse for doing this is at the new year. Every new year gives us a chance..

to restore hope and faith in ourselves and others
to gather all that we have learned from our experiences and set ourselves to move ahead, achieve and succeed
to make amends and end rivalries
to be open to new perspectives and approach our lives in a different manner
to face our whatever comes our way with belief that we can get through

Fortunately, we don’t need a new years to get the chance to do the most important thing: turn to the path of God; because when we do, everything else will fall into place. No new years needed =)

key to happiness

Imagine if you were suddenly told that you had only one more week to live and you couldn't tell anybody about it. How would you react? What would take priority and what would you value? Family would probably be the answer for most of you. Maybe to speak with a kinder voice to your parents, clean the house up a bit so when mom comes home she can be pleasantly surprised, and her already aching back can be saved from the extra work. Maybe have an actual conversation with dad? ask about his childhood, his fears, hopes and dreams. Give him a chance to think and talk about something other than work, money, etc. What about siblings? ask them how their lives are going. If they're keeping up with school and work..how they're doing emotionally? What are their plans for the near future? Visit or call up your grandparents, aunts, uncles. Ask how the kids are, how work is going. I bet that would put a smile on their face..who doesn't like being remembered?

Are those petty arguments with friends even such a big deal anymore? Wouldn't you want to forgive and forget and even ask them for forgiveness for the problems and hurt you might have caused them? I would. I also would pray to God because i wouldn't be able to ask things for the ones i love for much longer. Maybe pray for mom's worry to ease, dad's stress, siblings' success, cousin's marriage to work out, anything. Also, wouldn't you wanna pray to God? to the one who has given you all that you have including the time you have had so far in this world?

During that week, maybe you would wake up everyday with a smile, thanking God for that day, being grateful to wake up in a warm bed and look forward to a warm breakfast. Maybe you'll smile with every moment, appreciating, and being a positive presence for everyone around you. maybe you'll watch those movies and read those books you never had time for. Maybe you'll even do something crazy like jump on the couch for no reason at all, eat you're favorite dessert, sing that song. Once, maybe you'll find time to sit outside and just..breathe. breathe in the fresh air, watch the sky, and the beauty all around you which is solid proof of God's wonder.

Unfortunately, we don't always get a warning to if we have one more year, month, day, or hour. That's why, even though it can be difficult at times, we should try to live everyday like it could be our last. Do all the things you wish, keep strong relationships with loved ones, be grateful, smile, and be close to God. By doing all that, you're praising God. And we want to try to praise God every chance we get because in the end, He's the one all of us will eventually return to.

p.s - a quote i came across that might help us all. =)

Happiness keeps you Sweet
Trials keep you Strong
Sorrows keep you Human
Life keeps you Humble
Success keeps you Glowing
But Only
God keeps you Going

who are we

Are we the songs we listen to
Or the books we read
The movies we see
Or the people we talk to
the cars we drive
Or the jobs we work
With so many external forces
do we really find ourselves on this self searching journey?
Or just lose ourselves even more

so much..

Have you ever felt so strongly about so many things at once that you think you could write a book just to cover one topic? And then.. when you try to speak about them .. nothing comes out? It feels like you have nothing on your mind instead of having more than just about everything. You try to focus, get on one subject so it seems like you know what you’re talking about, and you try so hard to get it together, to shout out to people what you think they should know. what is too important to be kept inside. How can we pick? Global warming, poverty, rape, murder, psychopaths, war, genocide, religion; how to choose? We try to say what has never been thought..but do we try to think about what has already been said?

purpose

Is it really worth it? Feeling all that anger, jealousy, hurt, doubt. Worrying about all the little things? What will they think of me? what should I wear? Why can’t I be as pretty as her, why can’t I have that guy? Is all that really our purpose in life? What do we get in the end? We all end up under this earth at one point. All the wealth we’ve earned, the friends we have.. none of that is with us. Making a mountain out of sand..is it really worth it? Letting the essence of this world reach within us..being able to feel the satisfaction of personal success and completion. That’s what this life is really about. That’s what we’re meant to be doing in this small part of our existence. One human can’t control or change everything. But if a hundred..a thousand..a million people at once can work together ..anything is achievable. If we can all aim towards a main goal..a moral cause..anything is possible.

..

So many thoughts…and no words
So many steps…and no distance
How far do we get
By putting up the net?
How high do we go
By not letting someone know?

-awakening-

Waking up to the brightness and warmth of the sun
After long stormy years
Having gained strength and wisdom
Is an awakening anyone will welcome
Knowing that this joy won’t last
But always having the weapon to fight
Walking at your own pace
But remembering to fill the needs around you
Accepting all that is
But changing what might be
New storms will pass
But the memory of the sun
will always help to keep going
knowing that with enough strength
the light will soon shine again

how much

How much can one take
Glass to the brim
Think it’s gna spill
but it’s still there..dripping
Changes all around
You think you got enough scars to last a lifetime
But no. there has to be more
There’s always room for more
How much can one take
And when new wounds aren't formed
the old, half healed ones get ripped open again
How much can one take
No one to comfort. No one to guide.
Road’s never been so deserted
How much can one take
Try to satisfy
by not letting them know
Greater good they call it
But where do I go
Stabbed over and over
Just when you think you’re on the way to freedom, even if it’s a while away
There comes the knife again
Gotta start all over
Does another start even exist?
This is all one can take
Bout to spill over the brim
This glass is gna break

keep me sane

Go with the flow
Doesn’t have meaning any more
Try and try to no avail
No organization to the fiery thoughts that contain seemingly endless energy
No solutions
Grateful but wishing
Sense danger in hope
Lights from every candle extinguished
Even the wick is nonexistent
Disappointment emits from every direction, satisfaction coming to none
This expression not meant to be a classic
Only to get out enough to keep me sane
Maybe then.. Sleep can come again

familiar heaven

there's always this place you tend to go to when you need time on your own, and just need to get away. It's like a personal heaven. always the same with every visit, radiating all the same vibes it always has. But one day..when you really need the familiarity..the bond..it seems to have changed. it still looks the same from afar...but when you get nearer...you realize the color of the water is a bit darker..and the people that always gave you friendly smiles, have a different look on their faces. Nothing's bad or cold. It's just not as familiar a heaven as it always was.

reality road

You’re always on a road. Sometimes you reach your destination very easily, without any directions, and without much time. But sometimes the road is a little longer, and with those long trips, your car is filled with people, to guide, to give company. Slowly, the car empties out, and more of those people find their own stops, and get off there. You then realize that no matter how much people seem like they’re going to stay throughout the whole trip, they stop right when they find their own destinations. Then, you’re the only one left to drive, and at first feel like you’ll never make it without the company, or guidance, but then create your own map, follow your own directions, and you’re left with your thoughts as your only company. Or maybe some music.

Half a Prayer

-- written by a great and extremely talented friend --

Lord please emancipate my mind
from the ties that bind me and make me blind
if the wealth and the rides fill me with pride
then I'll put them aside, put them behind and learn and teach
Lord ordain me the power to extend my reach
to my brothers and my sisters on the fields and streets
to erect shades to shade them from the searing heat
to build shelters and houses and provide them with food to eat
'cause they've got no food to eat, you'd think that was it but they got no place to sleep,
I thought I had problems, their shit is oceans deep,
some of them get depressed and take the leap down a hundred feet off a building
I live in covered spaces they sleep without a ceiling, without the world feeling
its cold hard reality there's no miracle healing,
we better start dealing in feeding these weeping kids before its too late and god-forbid.
they drop down the lid and start doing what their fathers did; killed and stole money and went and hid
someone needs to take the time to sit and bridge, sit and reach, but its like the whole world is too busy to sit and list
like everything is okay and problems don't exist, nobody will resist the good life they just go along with it
until we're hit personally then it's like 'why am I in shit?'
yo, wake up dude all this time all you did was a hit-and-miss
can't say you tried, can't say you did your bit
why are you complaining now, just go along with it?
Lord accept this half-a-prayer, built on half-hope and half-dispair, help me 'cause I'm only half-prepared, if I'm gonna take on the world I gotta start somewhere...

*Faded Stars*

Some of us are stars..some are lookers. The lookers only see the stars when they’re shining..but when a cloudy night comes along, the lookers no longer show their admiration, but only their ignorance. Why look at something when it’s not standing out? But it takes those cloudy nights for us to really appreciate the stars for lighting our nights when they do. We should  remember not only the shining stars…but the faded ones too.

Chased Satisfaction

Satisfaction always evades us. We go to school..but there is always that feeling that the world is hiding something we don’t know. We get a career, but we have to be on top of the mountain. We get married, but our companion always seems to have something missing that we always wanted. We have kids but they never seem to fulfill something you always wanted to. There is always that void in us, that never seems to be filled no matter where we go, what we do, or whom we talk to. What is it we want from the world? From life? What is that fulfillment and how far do we go to achieve it? Whatever it is, the more we chase it, the faster and farther it runs. Like sand, the harder we try to hold it in our hands, the faster it slips through our fingers. Is there really something out there in the world that is meant to be found by us? Or is it something in ourselves that always wants something to look for?

Lost

Remember that time that you were lost in a very big and crowded place, separated from your family, and feeling that everything and everyone else is so much bigger and stronger than you? Remember that feeling of suffocation and that pang of fear?

It’s one thing being lost and knowing exactly what you need to find and where you need to be. It’s another thing being lost in yourself. Not knowing what you need to find, or even if you want to find it. Not knowing where your destination is. It’s having four different directions all around you, and not knowing which one to take, because you don’t know where you need to go. You’re trying to slow down because you know you have to…but speeding up because you want it to be over. The suffocation… the fear… the uncertainty. It’s a poison that seeps through your brain, heart, and soul. Imagine…your entire being, and purpose of life being questioned. No guidance..no direction. Being swallowed up by nothingness..neither here nor there. At the same time..anger is taking over because there is so much more in the world..and time is being wasted being ‘lost’.

Everything you ever lived for becomes nothing but a speck of dust left on a road so long ago. Sometimes…in the process of trying to find ourselves and make ourselves better..we lose ourselves even more.

Circle

We always run in a circle. At times that circle can be very big, so we don’t even realize what direction we’re running in. Sometimes it’s so small, you run faster and faster to find the hole to get out. Either we run so fast, that we miss the hole every time we pass it, or when we run so fast, we fall…but that fall might be what we need to remember to slow down…look closer..and discover that little break in the circle.

Sometimes...

Sometimes it’s like all you see is clouds above you, with the sun so far in, you forget it exists. Sometimes even after the sun shines through, your eyes are so used to the darkness, that you’re blind to the rays reaching to you. For weeks, months, and years, a blindfold has found a home over your eyes. It’s tied so tight that it seems impossible for your eyes to ever be free to look again. Sometimes…we get so comfortable with our darkness…we don’t want to look again.

Pictures

Think of my life as a picture. Lines and shapes visible but faded colors and no care for detail. Focus on one area, the rest blurs. I remember not to forget any other parts, to look at it as a whole. It’s not the new kind. but traveled back to the past to be one of those needed to put down for some time to show its best quality. Just been snapped, and still developing, In that time, patience is needed, to make sure it’s good enough for the world to see and understand.