another piece of the puzzle

Isn't it strange how we wait for certain, elaborate moments to be inspired and gain a bit more knowledge to keep us going on the path of self discovery but find ourselves in those moments completely unexpectedly?

It's completely fascinating at times how fast clouds can move which is a phenomenon that i had the opportunity to experience myself this afternoon. Sitting by a beautiful bit of nature, the pond by my sister's apartment seemed like the perfect place to just take a breather. There I am, sitting on the rocks, gazing out at the racing clouds while the perfectly motivating song comes on my mp3 player making me feel like I was in an unreal movie.

I was caught off guard when the clouds had perfectly parted to reveal a shining sun and immediately reached for the camera to capture this rare sight. Another pile of dark and funny shaped clouds passed by as I waited for the sun to peek through again and when it did, I again quickly snapped away trying to get the perfect picture. This is where my spontaneous, not as much of an epiphany as a late realization, occurred. This is what my life has been like, what all our lives have always been like. We wake up to rainy mornings never expecting the day to turn beautiful and when it does, the clouds that pass by hold our attention more than the sun that rarely comes through those clouds. Even when the light does decide to show itself, we get so excited about it and get caught up in dreading the coming clouds that we forget to bask in the glory and just enjoy it. The irony however, is that later in the day, the moments that you remember most aren't the long bouts of darkness but those few bursts of light, even if you didn't make the most of it.

As i have always greatly appreciated nature and the everlasting beauty it holds, it never failed to reach within me and touch the spot that lets me feel hope, love and most importantly appreciation for the life i have been blessed with. As of late however, it's been extremely difficult to regain that same emotion which is why i had a longing to make time to visit the graceful water. Though i had gained another piece of knowledge and had a useful realization, i still left without having been touched inside. That leads me to my second realization. Even though the sun may be there, doesn't necessarily guarantee an inner peace or happiness. It should however give us hope that if we are able to notice the sun behind those clouds, that we surely can one day feel again what we lack now.

round and round we go

We all like a rush once in a while. Rides are the perfect producer. The swing ride may be one of the best. Round and round. We feel our hearts jump with every dip, our spirits lift with every rise. The wind in your face, hands gripping tight on the chain.

Until it seems to go too long.

Your head starts to spin. You grip the sides as if it were a lifeline. You shout for it to stop but nobody can hear over the cheers, over the wind. Everyone else seems to be enjoying, not noticing your discomfort; not noticing that you may even faint any second.

The ride is life. The passengers are your loved ones. The controller is God. The one who wants to jump off is you.

slippery slope

it's common sense to not walk on ice. But sometimes we just don't wanna take the energy to go all the way around. We console ourselves by remembering that not everyone always slips. If u walk carefully and pay attention, you'll b fine.
You do this you whole life.
You take the risk of falling and bumping your head or worse, and feel good in a way that you've been doing it so long and haven't slipped.
Then, alas, comes the day.
The day that you're so used to walking over ice and feel that you have so much experience that you don't pay as much attention and are distracted and maybe a
little too over confident. Then..you slip. you're in shock. what just happened? how could this happen? i've never done that. wow.
and then comes the pain.
your ankle is twisted. you try to get up and can't support your weight and fall again, hurting your back this time. the pain doubles. you can't believe you
just got hurt twice in a row. you notice your hands are pretty scraped too. you start to get a headache from the cold and pain.
Everyone knows that you usually handle yourself perfectly so no one expects you to fall and therefore aren't there to help you up or even witness your mishap. the ego kicks in and you angrily remind yourself ' i haven't ever fallen. what the hell is this. i'm not clumsy. it's just ice. i can get up on my own'.
you have a whole bunch of shopping bags in your hands and the ice is still under your feet and your hands are cut up and your back is aching and your head is throbbing and only one leg works.
you can't do it. fine. maybe you should just get some help.
it has started to snow. rain's mixed in there somewhere too. the coffee shop you always go to right by has closed early. your cell phone's dead. one after the other. it seems like your hand is becoming the ice and everything is slipping from it.
you think of getting up on your own again.
it seems impossible. maybe it is.
you try. and you try. when finally you come to the realization that you fell. and now you can't get up.
you're tired. you stop trying.
you start to get comfortable in the ice realizing that you're gonna be on it for a while.
you sit..and wait.
you know it's gonna take a while. you'll just wait until spring shows its face again.
maybe it'll melt a bit of that ice.

a chance...

At times, especially after going through something particularly tough, we find ourselves trying to bring a sense of purpose into our lives and renew our very beings. A perfect time that we can use as an excuse for doing this is at the new year. Every new year gives us a chance..

to restore hope and faith in ourselves and others
to gather all that we have learned from our experiences and set ourselves to move ahead, achieve and succeed
to make amends and end rivalries
to be open to new perspectives and approach our lives in a different manner
to face our whatever comes our way with belief that we can get through

Fortunately, we don’t need a new years to get the chance to do the most important thing: turn to the path of God; because when we do, everything else will fall into place. No new years needed =)

key to happiness

Imagine if you were suddenly told that you had only one more week to live and you couldn't tell anybody about it. How would you react? What would take priority and what would you value? Family would probably be the answer for most of you. Maybe to speak with a kinder voice to your parents, clean the house up a bit so when mom comes home she can be pleasantly surprised, and her already aching back can be saved from the extra work. Maybe have an actual conversation with dad? ask about his childhood, his fears, hopes and dreams. Give him a chance to think and talk about something other than work, money, etc. What about siblings? ask them how their lives are going. If they're keeping up with school and work..how they're doing emotionally? What are their plans for the near future? Visit or call up your grandparents, aunts, uncles. Ask how the kids are, how work is going. I bet that would put a smile on their face..who doesn't like being remembered?

Are those petty arguments with friends even such a big deal anymore? Wouldn't you want to forgive and forget and even ask them for forgiveness for the problems and hurt you might have caused them? I would. I also would pray to God because i wouldn't be able to ask things for the ones i love for much longer. Maybe pray for mom's worry to ease, dad's stress, siblings' success, cousin's marriage to work out, anything. Also, wouldn't you wanna pray to God? to the one who has given you all that you have including the time you have had so far in this world?

During that week, maybe you would wake up everyday with a smile, thanking God for that day, being grateful to wake up in a warm bed and look forward to a warm breakfast. Maybe you'll smile with every moment, appreciating, and being a positive presence for everyone around you. maybe you'll watch those movies and read those books you never had time for. Maybe you'll even do something crazy like jump on the couch for no reason at all, eat you're favorite dessert, sing that song. Once, maybe you'll find time to sit outside and just..breathe. breathe in the fresh air, watch the sky, and the beauty all around you which is solid proof of God's wonder.

Unfortunately, we don't always get a warning to if we have one more year, month, day, or hour. That's why, even though it can be difficult at times, we should try to live everyday like it could be our last. Do all the things you wish, keep strong relationships with loved ones, be grateful, smile, and be close to God. By doing all that, you're praising God. And we want to try to praise God every chance we get because in the end, He's the one all of us will eventually return to.

p.s - a quote i came across that might help us all. =)

Happiness keeps you Sweet
Trials keep you Strong
Sorrows keep you Human
Life keeps you Humble
Success keeps you Glowing
But Only
God keeps you Going

who are we

Are we the songs we listen to
Or the books we read
The movies we see
Or the people we talk to
the cars we drive
Or the jobs we work
With so many external forces
do we really find ourselves on this self searching journey?
Or just lose ourselves even more

so much..

Have you ever felt so strongly about so many things at once that you think you could write a book just to cover one topic? And then.. when you try to speak about them .. nothing comes out? It feels like you have nothing on your mind instead of having more than just about everything. You try to focus, get on one subject so it seems like you know what you’re talking about, and you try so hard to get it together, to shout out to people what you think they should know. what is too important to be kept inside. How can we pick? Global warming, poverty, rape, murder, psychopaths, war, genocide, religion; how to choose? We try to say what has never been thought..but do we try to think about what has already been said?